Here’s the thing… I know I’m an old romantic at heart. I know I’ve been brain washed by lame 80’s films, romances in sitcoms and sci-fi shows. I know I can look at a woman and see if I’m interested or not based on what she looks like. I am also able to grow more attracted to female friends the more time I spend with them or the opposite. I’m a human male. I love sex, I enjoy touch and I to have fallen into the trap of online dating.
It started innocently enough. I was curious, lonely and frustrated. I saw people around me hooking up and becoming couples and I was jealous. Where was my happy moment? Where was my slow motion girl who was a freak in the bed and a lady in the street? The attitude and spark that both made me laugh and pushed my buttons in a good way. Then it became a hunt for this fictional woman I was sure existed. Tattoos, heels and trainers she liked them all. A sparky smile, eyes that could undress you seductively or let you know what you had just said was not what she wanted to hear. She could quote my favourite shows and films, like Ghostbusters or FightClub. She’d love to eat all all sorts of food. but still keep that hour class figure. Read books and graphic novels and love conversations on the physics of super powers (knowing her Green Lantern from her She Ra). You know, every guys wet dream. The perfect woman, No…. My personal perfect woman. Guys you know we all have one, each a little different. Women I’m sure your male friends have discussed theirs with you. Online Dating has that appeal that makes you think “Maybe I’ll find her here”
Or Maybe not… Kudos to the many that have found that person and are happy. My point is what happened to the days of meeting someone through a friend and hitting it off. I mean yes within most peoples circle of friends everyone knows everyone and it ends up like a messy bowel of sloppy seconds. (You know what I mean your friends been there first or should I say your ex friend because now because they have been there things are awkward) Or worse you actually meet someone through a friend and they are amazing but you both agree you can never do anything because that would make your friend who dated them before you upset…. That’s a bitch Trust me.
The days of meeting someone in a bar or club. Hitting it off with them and thinking “This is awesome he/she really gets me. I wonder if this is fate” exchanging numbers and going home with them anyway. Waking up next morning and things being awkward because they have to go to work and then you never hear from them again. How about you exchange numbers and spend the next day or two worrying about if you should message them or wait for them to message you. When you finally do message her you mess it up by sounding too eager or waiting too long.
I don’t know which is better, it seems like the only option is to write what you can about yourself, interesting things that make you sound cool and attractive into boxes that people rarely ever read. Throw up your best photos. You know, the ones that make you look great and hide the things you feel are wrong with you. The ones that make you look hot but not to full of yourself, that hide that extra weight you gained over Christmas or show off that cool new tattoo you got. Then put yourself on a virtual shelf for people to brows through and find the best product. The worst part is you can see all the people that passed you by through the “who viewed me” tabs. This must be classified as a new form of emotional tourture. I mean why did they pass you over? what did you write wrong? Then there’s the junk mail and same old same old.
I really don’t know which is worse….
I’ll talk to you later guys… Just got a new message on OKCupid…. Hope she’s Hot!!!!!