The Dating Game (The First Date)


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The first date has always been a stressful thing if you like someone. Think about it… It’s a date… In my opinion you don’t call it a date unless you like someone, so a first date is all about making sure you put your best foot forward, give the best possible impression and let her (or him depending on your taste) know how cool and appealing you are.

It’s like a job interview that works both ways. You’re testing the water to see if you want to know more about them.

I once had a first date I didn’t even know was a date until she told me. That took me by surprise. I mean it was silly of me to assume anything in the first place but it was so last minuet I figured it was a quick drink just to say hello.

Maybe I should explain…

So as you know I’m a member of an on-line dating website. It’s interesting to say the least. I’ve spoken to all types of women. Now my profile has something on it that i hope attracts women with a little more personality. A challenge if you will. Nothing smart assed just a simple line that says “You should message me if: You’re not afraid to drop a message to me and see if we click. I like people with guts/courage.”

That’s exactly what she did.

Let us call her Missy simply because she is the type of girl who likes to play stubborn sometimes (it’s actually quite attractive simple because she has a little look that says “Don’t F**K with me” but a gleam in her eyes that says “Challenge me I dare you”)

Missy’s profile was quite short. (The type of profile that I hate) There was nothing really to go on apart from the fact that she was just exploring on line dating for the first time and she had no idea what she wanted to write. There was nothing to build a conversation around. But she took the time to message me and I was curious because she seemed quite funny.

As we continued to talk and the picture I got of her began to grow I found myself looking forward to Missy’s next message. She worked about 20 minutes away from me and lived even closer. Her passion was technology but yet her pictures made her look like the type of woman who wouldn’t give me a second look. You’ve seen her before, attractive and stylish with a mix of sexy that usually when out and about I would class as out of my league. Then one Friday night it happened. She was finishing work and wondered if I wanted to meet up for a quick drink.

Now let me just say I was shocked. Not only had she messaged me first but now she was asking me out for a drink. SHE ASKED ME! I mean I WAS going to ask her. I was thinking about at least seeing if she wanted to exchange numbers first. You know… Just to test the waters, the safe way to see if Missy was interested in talking on the phone before I asked her out.

I arrived at our meeting place with time to spare. I wasn’t nervous. I was curious more than anything. I figured I had time to spare and I could get my thoughts in order. I was wrong. As soon as I had arrived and removed my head phones Missy was standing in front of me. She looked so much more attractive in person than her profile picture and I wasn’t ready for that. Nerves started to get the better of me and I admit it, this meeting had me at a loss for words. This never happens.

We walked and talked for a while before arriving at a pub about 15mins away. I had mixed first impressions of this woman. Her accent wasn’t as bad as she had once made out but I could see why she thought people might have issues understanding her. It had nothing to do with the accent or what she said in my opinion. More likely is that men probably got distracted by her other features and just don’t pay attention. (I’m referring to Missy’s well-proportioned chest, legs and backside, or simply her full lips that look so enticing. See… I’m getting distracted just thinking about them) It was how opinionated she was that caught me off guard. I loved it. She wasn’t afraid to say what she thought, disagree if she thought I was wrong or simply correct me. It was so refreshing after dealing with all the yes women in my life. Missy was a triple threat, Smart, sexy and Attractive.

During the time at the bar we talked about so much I won’t sit and list what we went through but it was at that point she dropped the dreaded D word… you know… Date… Again I was caught off guard. I had thought this was a quick meeting to suss each other out. Find out if we really did like each other and if there was any point continuing to talk. My nerves got the better of me and I must have rambled something incoherent. Missy just took it in her stride and we moved the conversation on.

After drinks we took another walk, this time down to our local canal which after 8 months of living in London Missy hadn’t seen yet. We had purchased more drinks and decided to take a seat at a spot that seemed peaceful and ideal for talking. Our conversation brushed on our lives, family and where we want to go with our futures. It felt natural to me. By the time we got cold and decided to start walking home I was determined to see what it was like to kiss her.  I wasn’t going to let her get in there first. It was the only way I could let her know I was interested short of confessing my interest like some sort of shy dopey movie hero. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t a huge film style gesture, but it was our first kiss. It was a simple hasty yank into my arms fuelled by nerves and curiosity type of kiss.

The Missy accidental first date incident didn’t turn out how I thought first dates were meant to be. It was far better. It was real and it was personal. I think that’s because I wasn’t worried about how a man should act on a first date. I wasn’t worried about making a lasting impression of a date to beat all dates or wooing this woman into my bed. (Don’t get me wrong, I would have totally enjoyed a weekend of nothing but sex, food and films with Missy)

To me it was a brief meeting of two people exploring each other’s potential and getting to know one another. An opportunity to find out if there was chemistry you can’t feel on-line and decide if we wanted to date that turned into a first Date.

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The Hunt…


It almost feels endless. Diving through adverts… Attending interviews, building experience, attending more interviews, filling out forms and repeating the cycles as many times as it takes.

I’m talking about job hunting. Finding a place where you can work and make an income. In this day and age it’s hard to do. People spend thousands and get into debt to gain an education then have trouble finding a place to use it. The flip side of this is there are people who get the experience and have the skills but lack the education so suffer because of a lack of a simple piece of paper.

I’d say from personal experience eight out of ten times its down to who you know with a little of what you know. Take my recent job opportunity.

Simple enough a bar job… bar tending is something I have plenty of experience in.
it’s not hard. All you really have to do is listen, pay attention and learn a few combinations. Of course there’s the people pleasing aspect to it.

Two shifts in and I’m flying. After two years away from behind a tap I’m falling into action like i was never away. It just so happens there’s another new starter with me. He’s French his English is so/so and his bar skills are lacking if I’m polite about it. Now this guy seems ok. He asks me for a few pointers and I’m happy to help. How to pour a pint of Guinness. What makes up a JagerBomb? Simple things that a first timer may not know. Everything is going well.

Fast forward to today. After receiving a call that the shifts were ready for the next week I see my manager. He politely informs me that he’s decided not to hire me. Now this is news to me, only the other night we was sitting down filling out employment papers, he’s patting me on the back and telling me he can see promotions coming up for me and I’d make a great manager. Now this.
I ask him why he has a simple answer… “I feel your too bossy” Again this is news to me. Not once did I give an order, ask someone to do something or in any way push myself into control of a situation.

Then it hits me. I remember my manager talking about making a mistake having two trial shifts at the same time on my first night. Also the last shift where French guy and Mr Manager were too close for people that have supposedly just met, talking about common friends. Lastly the fact Frenchy was looking for full time work and there were only enough hours for two part timers or one full timer.

Looks like I’m on the job hunt again.