The Void….


No one wants to read about depressing issues but I hope by writing this down and letting it out I’ll feel better.

This is therapy and you are my therapists. Mute blank faces I don’t have to worry about feeding me bullshit like “Don’t Give Up” and “Stay positive”.

Those are the words of people making themselves feel better by saying what they think they should. I’m not suicidal. I’m not mentally ill. You don’t need to worry about guilt from not having done anything for me. It’s not like that. I promise.
It’s just…..

I have this sinking feeling inside my chest. I have this strange dark rotten feeling because I don’t know how I’m going to get through this part of my life.

I’ve tried keeping myself occupied with hobbies, looking for things to do that involve other people, making the most of my time when I’m not Job hunting so I don’t feel like this, but it creeps up on me.

I try and stay positive but… It’s a weight. A Chain that wraps around my chest and makes it hard to breath. A black Hole that sucks anything good away from my mind.

Bruce Lee once said “What you habitually think largely determines what you will ultimately become.”  That scares me I don’t want to become a failure.

Believe me I’m trying to stay positive But I have no job. With no job I can not pay for uni next September. I have no credit to get a loan. I’m stuck living in a place where I spend my time alone because the people around me are worse than being alone. What little money I do get goes on food. I cant afford to go out with my friends and when I do go out with them (Very rarely now) I feel like a mooch (beggar) because I have no money to do what they do. I have Debt again. Not much but enough to make me feel worse. It doesn’t help that the past three times I’ve thought I had a new job something has happened to change the situation. They’ve found someone else or the vacancy has been cancelled due to budget cuts.

I suppose I should look at the positives right now. I have a roof over my head. I have my health…. Damn it that’s about it.

It can only get better I know. But i don’t know how much more of this I can take.

Even Mcdonalds turned me down.

But its ok… All I have to do is “Stay Positive”

The next person who wants to say that STOP… Think for a second. Wouldn’t it be far more helpful to see if that friend of yours can get me a job. I assure you I’m one of the hardest working people you’ll ever meet.

I’m not going to tempt fate too much.. But it can’t get much worse than this.

CAN IT????

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Asobitech


An article I’ve written that will be featured on SoTattooed Very Soon,

So I’ve been looking for something to write about this week and struggling. Between writing my script for an alternative group of friends in London and setting up future features/Blogs for this site about what’s going on in and around my home town. (Yes that’s London for those of you that don’t know)  I was at a loss. But then it hit me. What if I picked my favourite talent of the month from the UK?

This site is fast becoming a community of people that are not only linked by tattoos but other common interests as well. Of course our main focus is that beautiful body ink but there are so many sub cultures within our broad minded group why not highlight some of our other achievements.

So for your enjoyment, once a month I’m going to review something random and interesting going on or being produced from the UK and what better way to get things started than Asobitech (click for the facebook page).

Started By a friend of mine a little while ago he was designing computers and programs as a hobby. The Invincible Q as he shall be known has decided to set himself a huge new year’s challenge. He will produce one game per week that’s fun and enjoyable to play. This alone is no mere feat but the fact that he’s doing it alongside working full time and keeping up an active life is something to be admired.

(Above Invincible Q’s Ink)

The series is called 1up Games, and will see a new game released every week in the year of 2012.

That’s 52 free games for your Windows PC or OS X Mac. (53 if you count the first Christmas special that was released just as the idea was revealed.)

Everything is completely free via the Facebook page Asobitech (Click and like for more details.) Not only has he been sticking to his target so far this year, give or take a couple of hours, his games despite what little time he has spare are getting better by the week. Five weeks in to the year and there are now six files to choose from. Each game showcasing a different style of play and each has its own online score board that automatically updates your highest score.

From cooking up Sushi orders to detonating fireworks over the London skyline every game is different I suggest you try them all and choose your own favourite. Each game has a soundtrack that will leave you humming the tune after every play and the type of arcade feel that makes it great to come back to again and again.

Unlike most projects of this magnitude invincible Q loves hearing your feedback and even more values your suggestions. You never know your suggestion might just be used.

Keep your eyes on this project people. You can only expect great things from this London based developer. The best part is it wont cost you anything to play and leave him feedback.

So why are you still here?????

For a look at the developer and comments on his work check out his ….

vlog here: www.youtube.com/asobitech

His website here: http://www.asobitech.com/

And the Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/Asobitech