The Dating Game (The First Date)


The first date has always been a stressful thing if you like someone. Think about it… It’s a date… In my opinion you don’t call it a date unless you like someone, so a first date is all about making sure you put your best foot forward, give the best possible impression and let her (or him depending on your taste) know how cool and appealing you are.

It’s like a job interview that works both ways. You’re testing the water to see if you want to know more about them.

I once had a first date I didn’t even know was a date until she told me. That took me by surprise. I mean it was silly of me to assume anything in the first place but it was so last minuet I figured it was a quick drink just to say hello.

Maybe I should explain…

So as you know I’m a member of an on-line dating website. It’s interesting to say the least. I’ve spoken to all types of women. Now my profile has something on it that i hope attracts women with a little more personality. A challenge if you will. Nothing smart assed just a simple line that says “You should message me if: You’re not afraid to drop a message to me and see if we click. I like people with guts/courage.”

That’s exactly what she did.

Let us call her Missy simply because she is the type of girl who likes to play stubborn sometimes (it’s actually quite attractive simple because she has a little look that says “Don’t F**K with me” but a gleam in her eyes that says “Challenge me I dare you”)

Missy’s profile was quite short. (The type of profile that I hate) There was nothing really to go on apart from the fact that she was just exploring on line dating for the first time and she had no idea what she wanted to write. There was nothing to build a conversation around. But she took the time to message me and I was curious because she seemed quite funny.

As we continued to talk and the picture I got of her began to grow I found myself looking forward to Missy’s next message. She worked about 20 minutes away from me and lived even closer. Her passion was technology but yet her pictures made her look like the type of woman who wouldn’t give me a second look. You’ve seen her before, attractive and stylish with a mix of sexy that usually when out and about I would class as out of my league. Then one Friday night it happened. She was finishing work and wondered if I wanted to meet up for a quick drink.

Now let me just say I was shocked. Not only had she messaged me first but now she was asking me out for a drink. SHE ASKED ME! I mean I WAS going to ask her. I was thinking about at least seeing if she wanted to exchange numbers first. You know… Just to test the waters, the safe way to see if Missy was interested in talking on the phone before I asked her out.

I arrived at our meeting place with time to spare. I wasn’t nervous. I was curious more than anything. I figured I had time to spare and I could get my thoughts in order. I was wrong. As soon as I had arrived and removed my head phones Missy was standing in front of me. She looked so much more attractive in person than her profile picture and I wasn’t ready for that. Nerves started to get the better of me and I admit it, this meeting had me at a loss for words. This never happens.

We walked and talked for a while before arriving at a pub about 15mins away. I had mixed first impressions of this woman. Her accent wasn’t as bad as she had once made out but I could see why she thought people might have issues understanding her. It had nothing to do with the accent or what she said in my opinion. More likely is that men probably got distracted by her other features and just don’t pay attention. (I’m referring to Missy’s well-proportioned chest, legs and backside, or simply her full lips that look so enticing. See… I’m getting distracted just thinking about them) It was how opinionated she was that caught me off guard. I loved it. She wasn’t afraid to say what she thought, disagree if she thought I was wrong or simply correct me. It was so refreshing after dealing with all the yes women in my life. Missy was a triple threat, Smart, sexy and Attractive.

During the time at the bar we talked about so much I won’t sit and list what we went through but it was at that point she dropped the dreaded D word… you know… Date… Again I was caught off guard. I had thought this was a quick meeting to suss each other out. Find out if we really did like each other and if there was any point continuing to talk. My nerves got the better of me and I must have rambled something incoherent. Missy just took it in her stride and we moved the conversation on.

After drinks we took another walk, this time down to our local canal which after 8 months of living in London Missy hadn’t seen yet. We had purchased more drinks and decided to take a seat at a spot that seemed peaceful and ideal for talking. Our conversation brushed on our lives, family and where we want to go with our futures. It felt natural to me. By the time we got cold and decided to start walking home I was determined to see what it was like to kiss her.  I wasn’t going to let her get in there first. It was the only way I could let her know I was interested short of confessing my interest like some sort of shy dopey movie hero. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t a huge film style gesture, but it was our first kiss. It was a simple hasty yank into my arms fuelled by nerves and curiosity type of kiss.

The Missy accidental first date incident didn’t turn out how I thought first dates were meant to be. It was far better. It was real and it was personal. I think that’s because I wasn’t worried about how a man should act on a first date. I wasn’t worried about making a lasting impression of a date to beat all dates or wooing this woman into my bed. (Don’t get me wrong, I would have totally enjoyed a weekend of nothing but sex, food and films with Missy)

To me it was a brief meeting of two people exploring each other’s potential and getting to know one another. An opportunity to find out if there was chemistry you can’t feel on-line and decide if we wanted to date that turned into a first Date.


Online Dating


Here’s the thing… I know I’m an old romantic at heart. I know I’ve been brain washed by lame 80’s films, romances in sitcoms and sci-fi shows. I know I can look at a woman and see if I’m interested or not based on what she looks like. I am also able to grow more attracted to female friends the more time I spend with them or the opposite. I’m a human male. I love sex, I enjoy touch and I to have fallen into the trap of online dating.

It started innocently enough. I was curious, lonely and frustrated. I saw people around me hooking up and becoming couples and I was jealous. Where was my happy moment? Where was my slow motion girl who was a freak in the bed and a lady in the street? The attitude and spark that both made me laugh and pushed my buttons in a good way. Then it became a hunt for this fictional woman I was sure existed. Tattoos, heels and trainers she liked them all. A sparky smile, eyes that could undress you seductively or let you know what you had just said was not what she wanted to hear. She could quote my favourite shows and films, like Ghostbusters or FightClub.  She’d love to eat all all sorts of food. but still keep that hour class figure. Read books and graphic novels and love conversations on the physics of super powers (knowing her Green Lantern from her She Ra).  You know, every guys wet dream. The perfect woman, No…. My personal perfect woman. Guys you know we all have one, each a little different. Women I’m sure your male friends have discussed theirs with you. Online Dating has that appeal that makes you think “Maybe I’ll find her here

Or Maybe not… Kudos to the many that have found that person and are happy. My point is what happened to the days of meeting someone through a friend and hitting it off. I mean yes within most peoples circle of friends everyone knows everyone and it ends up like a messy bowel of sloppy seconds. (You know what I mean your friends been there first or should I say your ex friend because now because they have been there things are awkward) Or worse you actually meet someone through a friend and they are amazing but you both agree you can never do anything because that would make your friend who dated them before you upset…. That’s a bitch Trust me.

The days of meeting someone in a bar or club. Hitting it off with them and thinking “This is awesome he/she really gets me. I wonder if this is fate” exchanging numbers and going home with them anyway. Waking up next morning and things being awkward because they have to go to work and then you never hear from them again. How about you exchange numbers and spend the next day or two worrying about if you should message them or wait for them to message you. When you finally do message her you mess it up by sounding too eager or waiting too long.

I don’t know which is better, it seems like the only option is to write what you can about yourself, interesting things that make you sound cool and attractive into boxes that people rarely ever read. Throw up your best photos. You know, the ones that make you look great and hide the things you feel are wrong with you. The ones that make you look hot but not to full of yourself, that hide that extra weight you gained over Christmas or show off that cool new tattoo you got. Then put yourself on a virtual shelf for people to brows through and find the best product. The worst part is you can see all the people that passed you by through the “who viewed me” tabs. This must be classified as a new form of emotional tourture. I mean why did they pass you over? what did you write wrong? Then there’s the junk mail and same old same old.

I really don’t know which is worse….

I’ll talk to you later guys… Just got a new message on OKCupid…. Hope she’s Hot!!!!!