I’ve always been told it’s rude to stop and stare. But we do it all the time.
Have you ever been to Westfield’s shopping centre? Or any other oversized super mall/shopping centre?
I have a theory.
So these places are built like giant adverts. Everything inside them is designed to look good. To feel good. To make your mind tell you something’s attractive or you need to have it. The lighting makes things glow. The floors walls and shop doors all look cool and fashionable, shiny and new. Even 90% of the staff in the shops looks great.
But the Effects are not just limited to the Staff, displays and ascetics. They transfer to the everyday people.
I took a walk through this abnormal area of mass disillusion and aw recently. My first trip to Westfield’s. I realised that in this place every 3rd woman was attractive. It was like the local area had created some sort of magnetic pull and women of all shapes and sizes were drawn to this building that offered dreams and lifestyles on credit and morphed them into more things you just have to have.
And more than once I caught myself stopping to stare.
I didn’t mean to be rude.
It’s very rare to see a woman i find attractive wearing a marvel T-shirt. I wonder if she knew geek was my kryptonite. Maybe it was the combination of that and tight jeans.
Before i continue you should know I’ve been doing a lot of it. (Over thinking i mean)
I’ve passed through a period of slight depression and confusion and come out in a world of possibilities that lead me to overthink a lot more than i used to.
But let’s keep this simple… Intent.
It’s a mother F**ker. There is intent (good or bad) behind everything we do. At the base of all actions is the sole desire to gain something.
This really screws me up when it comes to flirting with women.
I work in an area that has some amazing looking women and i find myself wishing i could overcome that intent barrier.
Yes i want to get some of them into a bedroom and make them sweat, scream, moan and even black out in the throes of ecstasy but there’s more to it.
I want to find out if these women have more than stunning bodies and pretty faces. I want to know if we can talk for hours about geeky movies and which films they enjoyed more. I want to know how they cope in awkward situations and if they have any interests they are passionate about… i want to know if we can hang out and be challenged by each other’s perceptions and ideas. I want to argue, make up, live life and discover. and yes I want to fuck.
But at the back of my mind is that Bitch INTENT humming away telling me that her shields already up. Telling me she’s already thinking “he just wants to fuck, He’s going to hurt me, be prepared. Keep your guard up”
I didn’t run away… I didnt forget… There has been a lot going on…
So i got a job. Make that three. I find myself working away and building the life style i want. Things are moving along nicely. My calender is becoming fuller and my options more limited but its a nice feeling. I feel whole again. I no longer feel usless and i have gained a new perspective.