Isn’t It Funny..


I finally realised it today, I finally saw movies for what they are… The opportunity to rub our noses in the fantasy we want consciously or sub consciously for our selves.

Take the Inbetweeners Movie for example… Heres the plot.

SPOILER ALERT>>> STOP READING NOW IF YOUR ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO HATE KNOWING WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE IT DOES>>>>

Four Friends Each with a different insecurity.. aged around 19 to 21 go away on holiday to drink and have sex. Each have relatively no experience with women. By the middle of the movie even if you havent seen the tv series that came before this you’re praying for something to go their way. By the end of the movie.. if your anything like me you’re going to be wishing you was one of the four male leads.

The film uses four guys to talk to all of our own insecurities, blows them out of proportion and make me feel worse.

Great… It’s all good… But now the movies finished I find myself sitting here wondering why I’m single….

And I was doing so well burying my neurosis under keeping busy by working.

Still Its a great film…

Advertisements

Window Shopping…


Image

I’ve always been told it’s rude to stop and stare. But we do it all the time.

Have you ever been to Westfield’s shopping centre? Or any other oversized super mall/shopping centre?

I have a theory.

So these places are built like giant adverts. Everything inside them is designed to look good. To feel good. To make your mind tell you something’s attractive or you need to have it. The lighting makes things glow. The floors walls and shop doors all look cool and fashionable, shiny and new. Even 90% of the staff in the shops looks great.

But the Effects are not just limited to the Staff, displays and ascetics. They transfer to the everyday people.

I took a walk through this abnormal area of mass disillusion and aw recently. My first trip to Westfield’s. I realised that in this place every 3rd woman was attractive. It was like the local area had created some sort of magnetic pull and women of all shapes and sizes were drawn to this building that offered dreams and lifestyles on credit and morphed them into more things you just have to have.

And more than once I caught myself stopping to stare.

I didn’t mean to be rude.

It’s very rare to see a woman i find attractive wearing a marvel T-shirt. I wonder if she knew geek was my kryptonite. Maybe it was the combination of that and tight jeans.

That Moment


Mamihlapinatapai is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the “most succinct word”, and is considered one of the hardest words to translate. It refers to “a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will offer something that they both desire but are unwilling to suggest or offer themselves.”

You know that moment when you miss a chance to ask for their Number?

Well I do all too well.

Take today for example…

You’ve probably heard this story 1000 times before but let me tell you what happened.

I’m at work. Behind the till serving customers, It’s been a long day but i have a smile as usual and I’m not that cheesy guy but i know how to strike up a conversation.

Over she walks with a bottle of water and we get talking somehow the conversation turns to Germany.  We brush over the areas we’ve even to and she used to live in Munich. We say a few words in German and then she tells me the weathers amazing over there. Now all day today in London it has been raining so i say “well let’s just go for the weekend.” she smiles and considers the idea. At that point I quickly change the subject and ask her for the money she has to pay.

Just before she leaves there is another pause. “Have a nice afternoon” i say and with that I’ve dismissed the opportunity and she leaves the shop.

As she’s walking away down the street i turn and look after her. She also turns and looks, smiles and waves…

I missed my moment……

Its times like these i wish women would just speak up if you’re interested. Your letting the nice guys pass you by.

Still…. I’m an Idiot!!!

Slow down Brain… You Haven’t Even Asked For Her Number Yet.


Welcome to the world of over thinking…

Before i continue you should know I’ve been doing a lot of it. (Over thinking i mean)

I’ve passed through a period of slight depression and confusion and come out in a world of possibilities that lead me to overthink a lot more than i used to.

But let’s keep this simple… Intent.

It’s a mother F**ker. There is intent (good or bad) behind everything we do. At the base of all actions is the sole desire to gain something.

This really screws me up when it comes to flirting with women.

I work in an area that has some amazing looking women and i find myself wishing i could overcome that intent barrier.

Yes i want to get some of them into a bedroom and make them sweat, scream, moan and even black out in the throes of ecstasy but there’s more to it.

I want to find out if these women have more than stunning bodies and pretty faces. I want to know if we can talk for hours about geeky movies and which films they enjoyed more.  I want to know how they cope in awkward situations and if they have any interests they are passionate about… i want to know if we can hang out and be challenged by each other’s perceptions and ideas. I want to argue, make up, live life and discover. and yes I want to fuck.

But at the back of my mind is that Bitch INTENT humming away telling me that her shields already up. Telling me she’s already thinking “he just wants to fuck, He’s going to hurt me, be prepared. Keep your guard up”

Wish i could stop over thinking.

I suppose it’s my issue not hers.

The Dating Game (The First Date)


Image

The first date has always been a stressful thing if you like someone. Think about it… It’s a date… In my opinion you don’t call it a date unless you like someone, so a first date is all about making sure you put your best foot forward, give the best possible impression and let her (or him depending on your taste) know how cool and appealing you are.

It’s like a job interview that works both ways. You’re testing the water to see if you want to know more about them.

I once had a first date I didn’t even know was a date until she told me. That took me by surprise. I mean it was silly of me to assume anything in the first place but it was so last minuet I figured it was a quick drink just to say hello.

Maybe I should explain…

So as you know I’m a member of an on-line dating website. It’s interesting to say the least. I’ve spoken to all types of women. Now my profile has something on it that i hope attracts women with a little more personality. A challenge if you will. Nothing smart assed just a simple line that says “You should message me if: You’re not afraid to drop a message to me and see if we click. I like people with guts/courage.”

That’s exactly what she did.

Let us call her Missy simply because she is the type of girl who likes to play stubborn sometimes (it’s actually quite attractive simple because she has a little look that says “Don’t F**K with me” but a gleam in her eyes that says “Challenge me I dare you”)

Missy’s profile was quite short. (The type of profile that I hate) There was nothing really to go on apart from the fact that she was just exploring on line dating for the first time and she had no idea what she wanted to write. There was nothing to build a conversation around. But she took the time to message me and I was curious because she seemed quite funny.

As we continued to talk and the picture I got of her began to grow I found myself looking forward to Missy’s next message. She worked about 20 minutes away from me and lived even closer. Her passion was technology but yet her pictures made her look like the type of woman who wouldn’t give me a second look. You’ve seen her before, attractive and stylish with a mix of sexy that usually when out and about I would class as out of my league. Then one Friday night it happened. She was finishing work and wondered if I wanted to meet up for a quick drink.

Now let me just say I was shocked. Not only had she messaged me first but now she was asking me out for a drink. SHE ASKED ME! I mean I WAS going to ask her. I was thinking about at least seeing if she wanted to exchange numbers first. You know… Just to test the waters, the safe way to see if Missy was interested in talking on the phone before I asked her out.

I arrived at our meeting place with time to spare. I wasn’t nervous. I was curious more than anything. I figured I had time to spare and I could get my thoughts in order. I was wrong. As soon as I had arrived and removed my head phones Missy was standing in front of me. She looked so much more attractive in person than her profile picture and I wasn’t ready for that. Nerves started to get the better of me and I admit it, this meeting had me at a loss for words. This never happens.

We walked and talked for a while before arriving at a pub about 15mins away. I had mixed first impressions of this woman. Her accent wasn’t as bad as she had once made out but I could see why she thought people might have issues understanding her. It had nothing to do with the accent or what she said in my opinion. More likely is that men probably got distracted by her other features and just don’t pay attention. (I’m referring to Missy’s well-proportioned chest, legs and backside, or simply her full lips that look so enticing. See… I’m getting distracted just thinking about them) It was how opinionated she was that caught me off guard. I loved it. She wasn’t afraid to say what she thought, disagree if she thought I was wrong or simply correct me. It was so refreshing after dealing with all the yes women in my life. Missy was a triple threat, Smart, sexy and Attractive.

During the time at the bar we talked about so much I won’t sit and list what we went through but it was at that point she dropped the dreaded D word… you know… Date… Again I was caught off guard. I had thought this was a quick meeting to suss each other out. Find out if we really did like each other and if there was any point continuing to talk. My nerves got the better of me and I must have rambled something incoherent. Missy just took it in her stride and we moved the conversation on.

After drinks we took another walk, this time down to our local canal which after 8 months of living in London Missy hadn’t seen yet. We had purchased more drinks and decided to take a seat at a spot that seemed peaceful and ideal for talking. Our conversation brushed on our lives, family and where we want to go with our futures. It felt natural to me. By the time we got cold and decided to start walking home I was determined to see what it was like to kiss her.  I wasn’t going to let her get in there first. It was the only way I could let her know I was interested short of confessing my interest like some sort of shy dopey movie hero. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t a huge film style gesture, but it was our first kiss. It was a simple hasty yank into my arms fuelled by nerves and curiosity type of kiss.

The Missy accidental first date incident didn’t turn out how I thought first dates were meant to be. It was far better. It was real and it was personal. I think that’s because I wasn’t worried about how a man should act on a first date. I wasn’t worried about making a lasting impression of a date to beat all dates or wooing this woman into my bed. (Don’t get me wrong, I would have totally enjoyed a weekend of nothing but sex, food and films with Missy)

To me it was a brief meeting of two people exploring each other’s potential and getting to know one another. An opportunity to find out if there was chemistry you can’t feel on-line and decide if we wanted to date that turned into a first Date.

And The Winner Is…


Obviously Never You……

You know that feeling when you invest you time and effort into something and it turns out it was in vain. That moment when you know the response you’re about to hear isn’t the one you worked so hard for.

The feeling you get as you wait for the answer your stomach is twisted, your body feel tired from all the effort sort of relieved the waiting is coming to an end.  You are willing with all your heart and soul that things go your way.

Yeah that.

But they don’t.

The answers no… There are so many ways in our language to say “No”

Job interviews have the most impersonal lines.

“Thank you for your time we just feel there’s no space in our organisation for you at this point.”

That’s great.. but what was wrong with us for you not to have a place for us… if you told us we could work on it and become stronger in the future.

Or how about the brush off.

“We have your details we will contact you soon.”

No you won’t, just let us know we wasn’t successful and we can move on.

It’s not just jobs that give us the indirect “No”… recognise these?

“Sorry I have a boy friend…”

“Yeah Right!” (always a harsh one)

And My personal favourite and most experienced brush off.

“You’re such a great friend I wouldn’t want to ruin that.”

Personally I prefer the straight…

“You seem nice but your just not my type.”

The funny thing is no matter how the “no” is delivered you end up with that same disappointing feeling, the more you want it the worse it feels.

But believe me it serves a purpose…

That one time out of what feels like 100…. That one time she smiles and says she’d love to go out or she’d love a drink.

That one time when you actually build up the guts to talk to her and you hit it off……

That one time when you spend 3 weeks working on your interview presentation and they are so impressed by your work that they hire you on the spot.

They leave you on such a high that you end up forgetting about your past disappointments.

I’m still working through the disappointments looking for my high……

Sexy Saturday


 

So I keep reading about sexy Saturday here… and I’ve been asked to get my picture up……

I’m not sure I have any sexy pictures that qualify… But I’ll do one of these posts Just this once.

Women say that there is nothing They like more than a guy in a suit.

I introduce to you the Bee’s Sexy Saturday series of photos.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Feel free to comment. Let me know what you think. What do you find sexy when it comes to men?